It seems that there is an alarming amount of plagiarism with UCAS personal statements. The article from the BBC News website:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6426945.stm
says that 234 people copied a personal statement from the www.studential.com website telling a story about how burning a hole in pyjamas lead to an interest in chemistry. The example personal statements I have uploaded are there for reference only! It will sound a lot more convincing if it describes you, comes from you and you've put some time and thought into it.
Mr W
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Example Personal Statements
I've uploaded some example personal statements below:
Architecture, Biochemistry, Dentistry, Economics, Engineering, English, French, Chemistry
http://www.google.com/base/a/1543614/D4505824503949455531
Mathematics, Medicine, Physics, PPE, Veterinary Sciences
http://www.google.com/base/a/1543614/D8227780276640740386
These are not there to be copied into your personal statements, but as a source of reference for your own application.
Mr W
Architecture, Biochemistry, Dentistry, Economics, Engineering, English, French, Chemistry
http://www.google.com/base/a/1543614/D4505824503949455531
Mathematics, Medicine, Physics, PPE, Veterinary Sciences
http://www.google.com/base/a/1543614/D8227780276640740386
These are not there to be copied into your personal statements, but as a source of reference for your own application.
Mr W
UCAS Personal Statements
Obtaining a place at University depends on a combination of your IGCSE and IB results, your personal statement, your performance at interview and your performance in aptitude tests, such as BMAT. The personal statement is probably one of the most important differentiators as to the suitability of students for university and as such must be taken seriously. Most students find the writing of a personal statement a difficult task and devote far too little time and effort to the production of a good statement.
A good statement will match your personal details with the expectations of the admissions tutors at your chosen university. Typically they might anticipate you having:
1) A passion for the subject. Can you convince a professor you love a subject as much as he does?
2) Have you personal qualities such as the natural ability and the motivation to complete the course?
3) Have you matched your interests to the interests of the department and university to which you are applying? See entry profiles on university websites.
4) Have you produced an interesting personal statement that is easy to read and not pompous and verbose. Who wants to teach students who are boring or with an inflated view of their academic prowess?
Format for a Personal Statement
Approximately 75% of the statement should give details of why you want to study a subject, the depth and range of your interest in it, and what you have done to prepare for it. The other 25% should describe extra-curricular activities both within and outside school and how they have helped you develop as a person.
The introduction must capture the interest of the reader – it can make or break the statement.
Not – ‘I like solving problems and doing sums and that is why I like doing mathematics. There is a vast amount of mathematics to learn and I find it all very interesting. I find Further Mathematics even more interesting. A university course in mathematics would help me learn even more mathematics and that would be very interesting.’ This is an actual example.
But – ‘During a recent visit to Iran I witnessed an horrific incident which I can still picture in detail – a woman being publicly whipped for not wearing her headscarf (chador). As a person living in a highly developed Western country I have never experienced such forms of injustice or brutality. This event had a strong emotional impact on me and to be involved in administrating justice made me determined to study Law.’ Another real example.
In the main section it is desirable to write about a few topics in detail rather than numerous topics superficially. Topics to include might be: books, journals, quality newspapers - clear evidence of reading beyond the set text books. Explain what you learned from your reading and what your views are on what you read.
What have you done if you are applying for a subject not normally studied at school, such as law or architecture, to show you have the interest to study it for three or more years? Have you undertaken suitable work experience, what courses have you attended and what Law courts, Solicitors’ firms or architects’ offices, major constructions or developments have you visited and what did you get out of the visit?
Research the college/university department to which you are applying. For example, if you are applying for Architecture and the Director of Studies is a Structural Engineer with research interests in property damage by hurricanes, earthquakes or other natural hazards, then it would not go amiss to do some reading on these topics. (IB Choices of Art, Physics and Mathematics would I am sure also be viewed favourably by a Structural Engineer).
Mention school subjects, as appropriate. Potential engineers might stress their enjoyment of practical work in the laboratory. Foreign language students might give details of the extra opportunity for discussion with foreign assistants whose first language is French, German etc.
The extra-curricular section should not merely be a list of activities. In many good schools the majority of the Upper School are encouraged to organise and lead - to take part in activities similar to CAS activities and because these are increasingly common they no longer act as good things to differentiate university suitability. You need to explain the challenge these activities brought you. It would be better to, for example, give specific details of the CAS you have undertaken. If you do include a school-specific activity, please explain what this is as outsiders will not be aware of its importance and aims.
A good conclusion is required and needs to be carefully considered. An example is this from a recent student:
A good statement will match your personal details with the expectations of the admissions tutors at your chosen university. Typically they might anticipate you having:
1) A passion for the subject. Can you convince a professor you love a subject as much as he does?
2) Have you personal qualities such as the natural ability and the motivation to complete the course?
3) Have you matched your interests to the interests of the department and university to which you are applying? See entry profiles on university websites.
4) Have you produced an interesting personal statement that is easy to read and not pompous and verbose. Who wants to teach students who are boring or with an inflated view of their academic prowess?
Format for a Personal Statement
Approximately 75% of the statement should give details of why you want to study a subject, the depth and range of your interest in it, and what you have done to prepare for it. The other 25% should describe extra-curricular activities both within and outside school and how they have helped you develop as a person.
The introduction must capture the interest of the reader – it can make or break the statement.
Not – ‘I like solving problems and doing sums and that is why I like doing mathematics. There is a vast amount of mathematics to learn and I find it all very interesting. I find Further Mathematics even more interesting. A university course in mathematics would help me learn even more mathematics and that would be very interesting.’ This is an actual example.
But – ‘During a recent visit to Iran I witnessed an horrific incident which I can still picture in detail – a woman being publicly whipped for not wearing her headscarf (chador). As a person living in a highly developed Western country I have never experienced such forms of injustice or brutality. This event had a strong emotional impact on me and to be involved in administrating justice made me determined to study Law.’ Another real example.
In the main section it is desirable to write about a few topics in detail rather than numerous topics superficially. Topics to include might be: books, journals, quality newspapers - clear evidence of reading beyond the set text books. Explain what you learned from your reading and what your views are on what you read.
What have you done if you are applying for a subject not normally studied at school, such as law or architecture, to show you have the interest to study it for three or more years? Have you undertaken suitable work experience, what courses have you attended and what Law courts, Solicitors’ firms or architects’ offices, major constructions or developments have you visited and what did you get out of the visit?
Research the college/university department to which you are applying. For example, if you are applying for Architecture and the Director of Studies is a Structural Engineer with research interests in property damage by hurricanes, earthquakes or other natural hazards, then it would not go amiss to do some reading on these topics. (IB Choices of Art, Physics and Mathematics would I am sure also be viewed favourably by a Structural Engineer).
Mention school subjects, as appropriate. Potential engineers might stress their enjoyment of practical work in the laboratory. Foreign language students might give details of the extra opportunity for discussion with foreign assistants whose first language is French, German etc.
The extra-curricular section should not merely be a list of activities. In many good schools the majority of the Upper School are encouraged to organise and lead - to take part in activities similar to CAS activities and because these are increasingly common they no longer act as good things to differentiate university suitability. You need to explain the challenge these activities brought you. It would be better to, for example, give specific details of the CAS you have undertaken. If you do include a school-specific activity, please explain what this is as outsiders will not be aware of its importance and aims.
A good conclusion is required and needs to be carefully considered. An example is this from a recent student:
‘This year I have been spending one afternoon a week caring for the elderly since I enjoy interacting with people. I have been listening to their stories, having conversations with them and doing their shopping. In addition, at school my teachers have always praised me for supporting and helping students who face difficulties in their daily lives. I am confident that I have the scientific ability and the empathy towards my fellow human beings to take advantage of the learning opportunities a medical degree course offers and that this would enable me to develop as a useful member ofI recommend that you make every effort with your Personal Statement. I must warn everyone that for highly competitive subjects, such as English and Medicine, unless the statement is of the highest quality a university place is unlikely to be obtained. Three or four rewrites is the norm and I would suggest you seek the advice of not only your Form Tutor but the Head of the appropriate Department.
society.’
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)